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For your penance, say five Hail Mary’s and put $50 in the poor box.’ The Irishman left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walked over to the poor box. He paused for a moment and then started to leave. The priest, who was watching, quickly ran over to him saying, ‘I saw that ... You didn’t put any money in the poor box!’ The Irishman replied, ‘Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and according to you, that’s the same as putting it in!’Lemon Squeeze There once was a religious young woman who went to Confession. Upon entering the confessional, she said, ‘Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.’ The priest said, ‘Confess your sins and be forgiven.’ The young woman said, ‘Last night my boyfriend made passionate love to me seven times.’ The priest thought long and hard and then said, ‘Squeeze seven lemons into a glass and then drink the juice.’ The young woman asked, ‘Will this cleanse me of my sins?’ The priest said, ‘No, but it will wipe that smile off of your face.’Catholic. ” he said, pointing at her leathery flask.“Water?”“Yes, water! I need! Please.”She loosened it from her gear and handed him the skin. Luis uncapped it immediately and poured it down his throat. It was only half full, which meant there was no doubt he was downing the whole thing. Normally he would've asked first, but in his bone dry state, he didn't feel bad about it. The giant woman smirked at him.When he'd gulped down every drop, he handed it back to her. “Thanks. I'm Luis. I was shipwrecked. Is this your home?”“Loo-eese?” she asked.“Yes, Luis. That's my name. What's yours?'The woman tapped herself across the chest proudly with the side of her spear. “Hayko.”“Nice to meet you, Hayko. Hablo Espanol?”She looked at him quizzically. It seemed she was a woman of few words, but at least she spoke a little English. Hayko reached into one of her pouches and pulled out a black leather strap.“Are you the one that set that trap? I'm sorry if I set it off by acci--- H-HEY!!!”She approached him.
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