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”Wife texts back 5 minutes later;“Computer really fucked now.”A Greek and Italian were sitting in a Starbuck’s one day discussing who had the superior culture.Over triple lattes the Greek guy says, “Well, we have the Parthenon.”Arching his eyebrows, the Italian replies, “We have the Coliseum.”The Greek retorts, “We Greeks gave birth to advanced mathematics”The Italian, nodding agreement, says, “But we built the Roman Empire.”And so on and so on until the Greek comes up with what he thinks will end the discussion.With a flourish of finality he says, “We invented sex!”The Italian replies, “That is true, but it was the Italians who introduced it to women.”A photographer on vacation was inside a church taking photographs when he noticed a golden telephone mounted on the wall with a sign that read‘$10,000 per call’.The American, being intrigued, asked a priest who was strolling by what the telephone was used for.The priest replied that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000. She showed the ravages of repeated attempts at dieting, with perhaps a botched attempt at a facelift or two thrown in. What the bloody hell could she want with me?"Arnie! What a surprise to see you here. It's a shame we didn't spend more time together back in our wild and dissipated youth."I couldn't for the life of me imagine what I had once seen in her. This was one beat-up broad, and she had liquor on her breath."Why, hello, Marianne. It's wonderful seeing you here. Seems like almost yesterday that I was walking the hollow -- whoops, sorry -- hallowed halls of Calvin Coolidge High. Your luminous smile was the only thing that kept me from slitting my throat." Oh, go on, Arn. I imagine you had other things to live for." Yes, but none half as enticing as you. And you haven't changed a bit. A man could do wild and dangerous things just for a fleeting taste of your sweet lips." You wonderful liar, you."Damn right I was lying. Bullshitting my way into her good graces, and possibly even.
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