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”The man looked at the frog for a short time, reached over, picked it up carefully, and placed it in his front breast pocket.Then the frog said, “What, are you nuts? Didn’t you hear what I said? I said kiss me and I will give you sexual pleasures like you have never had.”He opened his pocket, looked at the frog and said, “Nah, at my age I’d rather have a talking frog.”A group of kindergartners were trying to become accustomed to the first grade. The biggest hurdle they faced was that the teacher insisted on no baby talk.“You need to use ‘big people’ words,” she’d always remind them. She asked Chris what he had done over the weekend. “I went to visit my Nana.”“No, you went to visit your GRANDMOTHER. Use big people words!” She then asked Mitchell what he had done. “I took a ride on a choo-choo.”She said, “No, you took a ride on a TRAIN. Use big people words.” She then asked Bobby what he had done. “I read a book,” he replied.“That’s WONDERFUL!” the teacher said. “What book did you. I’ll volunteer.” I finished with a grin. “Yeah, that’s for sure not it. You gotta let ‘em in before you can control them.” She replied quickly. “Oh. Does that mean...” I trailed off. “Yes” she replied, again quickly, running her words together like she was afraid of them, “I’m a virgin. The guys keep leaving me because I won’t let them in. I’ve never had a dick in me. I HAVE sucked a couple, tho.” With that she grinned and twirled away thru the crowd of dancing bodies, and I was unable to follow. Damn, I was intrigued by this girl. Just then Jeff came by and offered me a solo cup. A quick sip revealed that yes, it was beer. Life was good!A little while later Michelle’s Dad came by and said he was going to get the tractor for the hayride. Everyone topped off their drinks and got ready for the ride. Michelle said we would be taking a slow route thru some farm trails and back roads, including some “haunted” sites. When her dad pulled up, we piled onto the trailer behind his old, loud.
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