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" Magic?" I asked."No. Computers," she said, grinning."And being a girl isn't that tough. I manage it," Melody said, and gaveme another hug.I snuggled with both of them, and sighed, "Okay. what's first?" A new name" Melody said, "Not too many girls named 'Alan' after all." You could go by Alana," Melody's mom suggested."No, her name will be Bonnie," my mother insisted."Why Bonnie?" I asked."Well, Alan means 'handsome" and Bonnie means 'pretty' - and as you aremy child, I get to name you," my mom said."Fine," I sighed."Now for some 'girl training'!" Melody said with a giggle.I'd love to say I found my "girl training" awful, that I was so manly Isucked at trying to act feminine, but the truth is it wasn't all thatbad, even though I was still lacking in confidence by the time springbreak was over.Not that there weren't embarrassing moments. Like learning about brasgot me blushing, and the less said about learning about periods thebetter.When I wasn't learning girl stuff, Melody's mom. Ditto for my mother, Manal Hanaffi. They were too busy trying to keep a roof over the heads of my siblings and I to worry about other stuff. I felt at odds with Canadian society and its hypocrisy. It’s quite evident in the City of Ottawa, where a subtle but ever-present racism is always at work. Don’t believe me? Watch out white folks, especially the middle-aged males, look at any well-dressed, confident Black person walking around the downtown core, the so-called business center. They’ll look at you with your professional attire, your work ID hanging around your neck and the fact that you look like you know what you’re doing bothers them. I know exactly what’s going on in their heads at this moment, folks. You’re a threat to them if you’re a person of color who’s intelligent and even halfway ambitious. They hate you because you’re probably smart and university-educated, and you might make more money than them, but you don’t look like them. Welcome to Canada, folks. I can’t stand.
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