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That love means I can hurt her. That I am hurting her by the very act of loving her. Wendy tried and failed to make me hear the words, and it took me a truly unfortunate amount of time to understand what they mean. But even after everything that’s happened, I still don’t know what to do with that knowledge. Am I supposed to keep on hurting her, or am I supposed to find a way to stop? I know I can’t stop loving her, and I guess that means I’ll never stop hurting her in all the ways she’s explained that I am, but I don’t see how I can keep on doing both unless we’re together. How can I go on hurting her if the entirety of our future is measured in days? Isn’t that the way to make it stop, just like she’s been saying all along?Kathryn sat up again, scanning the sky. After a while, she stood and held out her hand. Though she spoke no words, he knew what she was asking. What she was initiating. Shaking off his grim hopelessness, he rewrapped the cheese and secured it on the bench while. There are always some who couldn’t give a fu-, a da-, who couldn’t care a lot about nature walks. It’s good to have a class clown to keep them amused. And you did carry the little 11 year old –”“Melissa?”“Yeah, she was teeny, tiny. No wonder she got tired, she must have been walking twice as fast as the others.”Harry, Harriet VanDaemon (one of the old Dutch families), moaned “Actually, my feet hurt too. We walked quite a way. Oh, one thing. Seriously, do you know what to do if we see a bear?”“Serious? Run like hell? Or even just very fast?”“No, don’t turn your back. Bad move. Obviously sacrifice one of the young’uns by tripping them up, then run. No, not that either. Back away, facing them seems to be the current advice. ‘Course you might be backing your way over a cliff –”“Or onto a rattlesnake. I thought as long as I was not the slowest at running away, I’d be okay?”“Yeah, we don’t get them here. And no, we don’t leave our charges, no matter how tempting.” she laughed.“So ... there.
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