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”“OK,” my stomach did a quick backflip.Since Jade had told them about us she had continued to ring them regularly, but they still had not accepted the relationship. From what Jade told me about their weekly conversations it had become the elephant in the room with neither prepared to discuss the relationship beyond a factual acknowledgement that I existed.“So when are you going to ring them?” I asked.“Right now and arrange for us to go down and visit them next weekend or the weekend after.”“Once you have agreed on the date we will look at what hotel we can stay at.”“Oh no,” Jade said, looking very firm, “we will stop there, my room has a double bed in it and they might not like our relationship but they are damn well going to face up to it.”“Err, are you sure that is wise, perhaps it would be better for us to not slap them in the face, especially when you are trying to make peace with them.”“No, I know my parents unless it is a fait accompli, they will just ignore it and hope it goes. The ultimate safety intervention is an automatic email system that sends out an email to a friend telling them where I have gone and that I am overdue. Just in case the email system fails, I always leave a letter with the same information sitting on my kitchen table with the words, “Open if I am not back by....” on the front of the envelope.Just so I don’t get lazy and merely wait for the locks to discharge, W built in a punishment for using the safety unlock. The way the batteries discharge is by repeatedly activating a shocking circuit that electrifies the chains with something ranging from a severe tingle to a shock that would stop a charging mountain lion dead in its tracks. Just so I would appreciate what the punishment circuit could do, W made me put the whole set on and then triggered the shocking circuit using the remote control. I could barely stand and nearly pissed myself on the second shock. Then W told me that it was only set on 2. He asked me if I wanted to try 6.
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