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And the Fart blew the waters of the earth together unto one place, leaving dry land for God to rest his beer on. (Incidentally, a less well known consequence of this holy hurricane was that it caused Lucifer, God's favorite angel, to quit his post as God's errand boy, and flee as far from Heaven as possible.)And God said, Let the Earth bring forth trees bearing fruit, plants bearing pollen, and other green life. And the Lord God sneezed and saw that, hayfever excluded, it was pretty damn good for a first try. And God said, in a hoarse beer-befuddled slur, the trees and plants are catchy, but they are not quite enough. I'll make some animals; some who can eat the plants, and others who can eat the first group, and all can urinate on the trees and plants. And he saw that it was all rather asinine, but who cares? After all, he was God, wasn't he? What is omnipotence good for if the almighty can't enjoy a few jokes?And God said, So what do I do for an encore? Maybe I will make an animal. She didn't even say anything just smacked me straight in the face, I hit the floor and was dizzy. What a punch! Next thing I know she's on top of me, straddling my chest and using her knees to pin my arms down, her friend was holding my legs, so I couldn't kick out. She was pulling my hair and hitting me all over. Then, the hardest hit she'd given me, the unmistakable smell of her pussy, inches from my nose. It's all I focused on, it helped through the pain and then she stopped, I looked up at her and she finished by spitting right in my face, before getting up and leaving. I lay there, in a daze, hurting with the musky smell of her still in my nostrils. I managed to compose myself, got up and assessed the damage in the mirror. I had a split lip, my hair was a mess and I had a nice bruise coming on on my cheek, my tights were ripped to shreds. She'd done a fine job.The worst damage was my knickers though, they were completely soaked. I don't know if she'd got off on beating the shit.
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