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“I want you to eat vegetables and grains for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks.The next time I see you, you will have lost at least 5 pounds.”When the blonde returned, she shocked the doctor by losing nearly 20 pounds.“Why, that’s amazing!” the doctor said, “Did you follow my instructions?”The blonde nodded.“I’ll tell you though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day.”“From hunger, you mean?”“No, from skipping.”A cosmetic surgeon was sitting in his consulting room chatting to a friend when a beautiful woman walked in, kissed the surgeon and said: “Thank you so much for everything you have done for me. I felt ugly before, but now you have turned me into a princess.”When the gorgeous lady left the room, the friend asked: “Wow, who was that? You’ve certainly done a good job on her.”The surgeon replied: “Oh, that was my mother.” And they continued their conversation.A few minutes later, another beautiful lady walked into the room. Even more. “Now the reason I called you in.” Tanya stopped. “You did die six months ago? How can you be here now?” Tanya asked softly.“We’re in heaven.” Beth smiled as she clutched Doug’s arm, “You’ve come to me.”“General, Beth?” Tanya had experienced death in her life, but not LIFE in her life before.“When we had that little earthquake sort of the thing and John Taylor declared we are now in Heaven! I went back to West Seattle and sat in the church in West Seattle on my day off. Beth sat down next to me.”Tanya sat back in her desk chair looking at the ceiling, “Thank you, God, thank you Jesus and all the angels and all the masters that have gotten us to this point.” Tanya shook her head, “When the General filled out the standard form six months ago, he put down widower. Now I remember it was in the VA hospital and you died because of a surgeon’s mistake. Now you are alive again. I want to go up to the roof and scream I am so excited. Back to this, Let’s try Beth Wilcox. No, it didn’t take.
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