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It started harmless enough. I'd skip college to see the horses at the traveling circus. I was horse mad and besides mum and I had argued most of the last six months. I used to hang around the horses, watching them, touching and feeding them, when given half a chance.I was sixteen going on seventeen and as naive as they come. I stood 5ft 8ins, long auburn hair, 36D - 25 - 34. I liked to be provocative so wore very short skirts, though mainly to get up my mum's nose. I never thought that I was good looking, nor sexy. No sex talk, we didn't do that in our family.The main rider used to dress all fancy. Like my cowboy hero's in the movies. He was probably about 35. To be honest, he wasn't that good a looker but he had horses going for him and I loved horses.He told me I could help him with the horse stalls and brush and feed the horses after the show and he would run me home. At first, that's all that happened. We would have a quick drink after we had showered and changed. Then he would. I adored the feel of these clothes and spent my timereveling in them. That evening I watched an old movie with some rather steamy scenes. I,of course, fantasized that I was playing the female lead. When she waskissed, I caught myself being short of breath. I was rather surprisedat my reaction. Being accepted as a woman was one thing. Acting andthinking like a woman was a natural step, one that I had taken rathersuccessfully. However, feeling aroused by the thought of being kissedby a man was a rather unexpected turn of events.When the movie was over, I changed into a nightgown and climbed intobed. I had spent the last two days as Carolyn and enjoyed the adventurethoroughly. As I lay there, I mused on the man's kiss in the movie.What had I been thinking? I began to imagine what it would be like fora man to be attracted to me enough to want to kiss me. How would thatfeel? It had been months since I had kissed anyone. Admittedly, I missed theintimacy but wasn't entirely.
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