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It had been a few days since the run in with my father. I hadn’t seen my so called ‘Master’ lately. He kept to himself. Sometimes when I lie awake at night replaying memories in my head, I can hear him pacing heavily outside my door. He was a vampire, so I knew he was capable of not being detected by my ears but, it was if he wanted me to hear him. Sometimes I would uncover myself of all fabrics and lay naked as if waiting for him to take me. The moon would shine on my stomach, highlighting my breast but, leaving my sex in shadow. My eyes would close and my breathing would become shallow as I imagined his hands roaming my soft skin, molding my curves. His luscious pink tongue lapping at me as if I was the blood he needed to live on. And every night, when I finally eased my fingers in between my legs, I would hear him stomp down the hallway as if putting distance between us would stop the tense desire between us. ‘Um, miss?’ A tiny voice called out to my left. I turned towards the. And one time in college I walked around the campus. Anyway I ignored all the signs being overly sensitive for a boy It should of clicked when I was diagnosed with disphoria. I knew I liked being girly but I really thought all teen age boys were like me. Always being a pretty-boy girls always came my way but they all end the same I get hurt because just like a girl I lack self esteem and I'm not controlling enough. Also I lack the testosterone to compete with other Men and now that older and I realized that I'm terrified of women. And eventhough Ive had some gay experiments I thought I was straight Men were not that attractive too me, until I was incarcerated for a couple of months and I saw this beautiful young Latin guy taking a shower I guess I never saw a Man totally naked his skin was so dark and smooth his butt was perfect I trembled and came without even touching myself. Needless to Say I tried to see everytimoe he was naked as well as half dozen hot Men in there. After.
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