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‘Everything started coming to a head about year before we separated. I had let myself get so angry with you for all the things I imagined you were doing, that I managed to start shutting my feelings for you down. At the same time, I was looking better than I had in years, and I started to attract attention from some of the guys at work. ‘That’s where my vanity and my self doubts kicked in. Even though you were paying more attention to me when we were together, I thought it was just guilt on your part. You didn’t care about me any more. My self-image wasat an all time low. The attention I was getting from those other guys was what I needed. It was just like a breath of fresh air.’ Anne looked at me intently. ‘I’m not proud of it, but I want to be honest. With the way I was feeling about myself, I needed those looks and that flirting, to help me feel good. I was convinced that you didn’t want me anymore and it was just a matter of time before you left me for Heather or some other. Gill was our production manager; she had just about done everything in a workroom and knew the job inside out. Danny was an accountant and hated this time of year. He would be in despatch and was the only packer who would not forsake his suit and tie, much to everyone's amusement.I didn't mind the Christmas rush. It kept me busy at a time when my calling was an interruption to my customers. My sister usually invited me for Christmas, which was not much fun as she would bring our conversation round to what went wrong in my marriage. A subject that I tried to avoid as assiduously as she would try to talk about it. I lived my life and let others get on with theirs. My sister lived with a rigid set of almost Calvinistic rules and criticised volubly those who offended her rules. I, it would seem did that frequently. It was March before my journey plan took me back to the West Country. I had tried to curb my impatience as I came to realise that it was not just the welcome that I received.
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