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I told him I was going to take another shower. He excused himself. "And Neil?" I called to him before he left. "I think I'm done for the night.” I shook my head, smiling. “I’ve got nothing left." He grinned. "I'm not sure I have another one after that, myself." "Would you tell Todd and Mike for me?" I sat up, shuffling out of the wet spot. "I'll come out when I'm ready, to say goodnight." He nodded and took his leave. In the shower I let the hot water wash over me, eyes closed, facing the spray, remembering. I laughed at my goal and nearly choked on the water. I'd had dreams of taking all three at once, and the idea seemed ludicrous now. I hoped they weren't disappointed. Not that I'd told them, I reminded myself, I’d kept that it myself. But I had hinted that there might be more. I knew I had nothing left. And I had gotten almost everything I'd dreamed of all that time; waiting, planning, hoping. It had been glorious, getting back into it, and despite my fatigue, I felt young and. We were both famished and we cleared our plates quickly.Lena smiled across to me and said, "Boy, don't this sex lark make a girl hungry?" I burst out laughing; Lena was a different person since my declaration of love for her. She seemed more relaxed, even tranquil. It seemed to me that she'd been very unsure of herself and our relationship, probably worrying that I was about to dump her at any moment. That was n not an option now, I couldn't see myself living without her, she was my soul mate, and I knew now that it was true love. Perhaps I'd been deceiving myself all this time, afraid of the commitment that goes with a loving relationship. The real test would come when I found myself faced with an opportunity for casual sex. Right now, I was sure I'd fail miserably, jumping in to the sack with a stranger at the first chance I got. It was a sad truth that I saw sexual fulfilment and love as two totally separate things. I got both from Lena, but I needed more carnal thrills than she.
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