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She had not said a single word to me on the way home. I was ashamed of myself, ashamed that I had been so insensitive. She had done nothing to deserve such a crass remark. How could I profess to love her and yet come out with something like that? She did not deserve someone like me. It was more than that; I did not deserve someone like her. I caught up with her in the kitchen."Clare, I am really sorry. I can't take the words back, but believe me, I would if I could."She looked at me though red-rimmed eyes. "How could you say such a thing?"I tried to explain, but my explanation was puerile, utterly puerile. In essence I was blaming her for Ray's over-familiarity with her, blaming her for my own impotence. I looked at the floor, knowing full well that if I were to look at her, I would also break down in tears.But it was to no avail because I no sooner felt her arms envelop me, than I too, was silently weeping. I had set out to comfort her, but instead she was now comforting me;. Of course he knew Shelly had taken photos of him and had even hinted thatshe might possibly show them to Paul. Would she or not? Might it bebetter if he somehow figured out a way to talk to Paul about at leastsome of this? As embarrassing as it might be maybe it was better than theshock of seeing photos of his dad not only wearing lingerie of his butalso of the things Shelly made him do with her? Maybe he could tell Paulabout way back when he was a teenager and was doing a similar thing for afew years. He'd not even told Shelly about that part of his past life.Might be a way to at least start a conversation. But would he able to doit and how could he get up the nerve?The next morning at breakfast after Sue had left for work Paul and Johnwere sitting at the table eating breakfast as usual. John took a deepbreath and said, "Paul, there's something I need to tell you and it's notan easy thing to bring up but after thinking about it Ibelieve it's the right thing to do. For sure not an.
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