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The whole crowd behind the goal jumped up and then groaned at the near miss. Harry didn’t see it. An elbow in the left eye from the girl one row in front of him and one seat to his left had felled him. She felt the jar and turned around in time to see Harry fall back into his seat. She quickly turned and knelt on her seat to face him. ‘Gosh, I’m so sorry. Are you all right? I’m always getting into trouble when I get excited. Here, let me have a look at it.’ The girl reached out to try and remove Harry’s hands from his eyes. He felt a gentle touch and tried to let her see him. He couldn’t see her, his eyes streamed with tears, they were totally full. ‘I’ll, I’ll be all right,’ he gasped. ‘Don’t worry about me. You watch the game. Aren’t they playing great? Christ, it hurts, I can’t see a thing!’ The girl scrambled over the back of her seat into the empty space beside Harry. She produced some tissues from her jacket pocket and continued her ministrations to his eye. Harry took them. There was a young girl on the street and he conceived the idea of asking her where he had moved to, saying, “Excuse me, perhaps you know me. I’m Norbert Weiner and we’ve just moved. Would you know where we’ve moved to?” To which the young girl replied, “Yes daddy, mommy thought you would forget.”The Ideal Wife should be beautiful, but not so beautiful that people think you married her only for her beauty. And The Ideal Wife should be wealthy, but not so wealthy that people think you married her only for her money. And The Ideal Wife should be gentle, but not so gentle that she can’t suck a tennis ball through a fifty-foot garden hose.“Make it a double, Joe,” the dejected man told the bartender. “I just got the shock of my life. I caught my wife screwing my best friend.” “Paul, that’s awful. What did you do?” “I hit him in the nose with a newspaper and sent him to bed with no Kibbles N Bits.”There once was a yellow toad. He was a very unhappy toad because he had no friends. Thus, he.
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