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The hall of records was located in the Spokane County Courthouse, a dilapidated building in the unfashionable part of downtown. After battling for a parking spot, fighting my way through three clerks who wanted detailed explanations of why I, a teenager, wanted to take a look at these supposedly open public records, and then pouring through tons of paperwork in the largest filing cabinets I've ever personally seen, I was forced to admit there was something I missed terribly from my old life. The Internet. In 1999 I would have been able to pull up this information-information that took me more than two hours to retrieve in the courthouse-in less than five minutes. God bless technology, despite the Unabomber's ravings to the contrary.I finally found what I was looking for in an obscure file marked "Real Estate Transactions--1983", a file which was not, I might add, stored with Real Estate Transactions 1900 to 1982 as you would have thought it would be. The file was more than an inch. . OK, let's put it this way. There are several different types of kisses. We'll call kissing your mom and your aunt a 'relative kiss'. That's either a peck on the cheek, or, if they insist on mouth-to-mouth, with lips tightly closed. Right?" Yeah, that's what it is. Not much fun." Yeah, well I don't think that's supposed to be fun, it's just a way of greeting someone that you like, or at least are related to. I guess guys don't go in for that as much as girls do. OK, the next stage we'll call the 'first date' kiss." Huh?" You know, after you've had a nice evening with a new girlfriend, and it's time to say goodnight, you might want to try an exploratory kiss." Exploratory?" Yeah, just a quick smooch, without being too aggressive. It's like you're asking if she enjoyed the date and if she would like to go out with you again, without actually saying anything."Billy looked puzzled. "Just how would I do that?" Well, first you start talking very quietly, so your date has to get close to.
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