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I am going to set up a test that will run for two hours and from the results of that test I will judge who does the better job. So Satan and Jesus sat down at their keyboards and started typing.They moused.They faxed.They e-mailed.They e-mailed with attachments.They downlo..."Suddenly I stopped and stared at the back of the room where the door to the parking lot had opened and a couple had walked in. The crowd was wondering why I had stopped and you could hear the low voices asking each other what was going on. I took a deep breath and pulled myself together."Ladies and gentlemen" I said, "I apologize, but I have to stop at this point and get the hell out of here. My wife and the asshole she has been cheating on me with just walked in from the parking lot."Heads turned to look toward the back of the room and I said:"Wave to the nice people Julie so they can get a good look at what a lying cheating whore looks like. As I said I do apologize for this, but if I don't get the hell out of. I have never been a shy girl, and have always enjoyed pushing my limits and trying new things, even when I was younger and more constrained by age. When I was freshly 17, I used to live on a family friendly street with backyards that brushed up against each other and windows that could be peered into with the right angle and lighting. I liked to masturbate with my windows open, getting excited at the thought that one of the neighbours might hear me or better yet, see what I was doing to myself. It all started on a fairly warm day, for some reason the warmth of summer always puts my already high sex drive into overdrive, it’s practically impossible to keep my hands off myself… and others. I had come into the bad habit of sneaking over to my neighbour’s house during the day to take advantage of their amazing pool. This particular summer was easier than previous ones as the neighbours had recently split and neither of them were at the house much as they prepared to sell it. Stretching.
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