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I had not been expecting it. They let me go with some pamphlets, a band-aid on my arm at the point where the blood was drawn, and a sticker. On the way out to the parking lot, I saw the dyed-hair woman throwing something in her trunk. She wasn’t as old as I’d first thought. Perhaps forty. A nice D-cup. Long brown hair. She opened the driver’s seat door to her gray minivan. The car was a metaphor for her life, I could tell. I thought about it for perhaps a quarter of a second and approached her. “Hey,” I said.She was surprised.“Hi…” she responded.“Dennis.” I extended my hand.“Do I know you?”“No.”That got her thinking about whether she should pursue the conversation or not. She didn’t move so I knew she would.“Nadine.”We shook hands.“How’d it go in there?” I said.“Um…fine I guess?”I didn’t respond. I looked at her in a way that said I expected her to continue.“I mean I’m not pregnant so…” she gestured at nothing and nobody.“Congratulations,” I said. “On not having a child.” I laughed a. I was cripplingly sick, almost paralysed with my testicular pain, causing a ferocious cramp in my stomach. The pain and humiliation were earth-shatteringly vicious, severing my ability to think and argue. I regressed to the actions of an animal. I crawled away to the safety of my bedroom, as Mother and Sally argued in an audio blur. I got inside my bedroom door and blacked out. Sally was left naked, stranded outside her room to face the searing wrath of our lunatic Mother.Later we were both sat at the breakfast table as Mother severely reprimanded us. I owned up as it was my fault and tried to explain, but Mother was deaf to my explanation."I've been suspicious of you two getting up to dirty things for months, so what's going on?" Sternly demanded Mother."It was supposed to be a joke," I pleaded."With both of you naked?" Snapped Mother."It went very wrong, I just wanted to trap her on the landing by locking her out." So why was she naked and you erect?"There was no explaining that.
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