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I have to digress at this point my story and admit to having a sweat fetish. At sixteen I attended a school with a guy who suffered from hyperhidrosis. Grant, the boy in question, literally had to bathe three times a day. He changed his underwear and shirts after each shower. He had a huge complex about his condition, and to make matters worse was allergic to most deodorants. Our friendship eventually developed into a sexual relationship.Off-putting as I found his condition initially, I later developed an obsession with it. When we arrived at his home for our trysts after school, I would beg him not to shower before we had sex. A year later he and his family moved on and we lost contact. Subsequently, I became aroused whenever I found myself in the company of somebody suffering from this condition.Back to my story:Costa showed me around the apartment which was beautifully maintained. Regrettably, it was twenty-five per cent more expensive than I was hoping to pay. Seeing the glum look. The entire front passengers side of the car was gone, and Iwasn't exactly sure how I'd managed to survive the initial impact.I had to sit on a bench at the food court, and barely made it off myfeet before I doubled over crying. Everything hit me like a Mack truck.Christine, a girl I considered a friend, was dead, and she should havelived. I was spared by a spark of luck, and I should have died. I wasa woman now, and my body was destroyed. I was a rational person, I knewthe brain was the self, but the body provides the self image, and minewas distorted.I thought back to last night, looking in the mirror, declaring to myselfthat I was Nicole. The words rang hollow in my head now. Apparentlythis is what an identity crisis felt like. Liz brought me a drink, andI took a sip before making a mad dash to the nearest trashcan to throwup.Vomiting has a strange psychological effect. It has a way of calmingyou down, letting you feel you've expelled that which was making youupset. I had.
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