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“Oh, good -- then you’ll fit right in!”For Jews, the deity is YHWH. For UU’s, it’s YMMV (Your Mileage May Vary).There was a terrible car accident. A woman was lying in the street, covered in blood. Someone in the crowd shouted, “Call a priest!”The woman opened her eyes and said, “I’m a Unitarian.”“Then call a math teacher!”HOW MANY (xxxxxx) DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB?Anglicans: 8. One to call the electrician and 7 to say how much they liked the old one better.Charismatics: Only one. Hands are already in the air.Lutherans: Change?!?!?!?!?!Mennonites: At least 15. One to change the bulb and 3 or 4 committees to approve the change. Oh, and a casserole.Mormons: 5. One man to change the bulb and 4 wives to tell him how to do it.Pentecostals: 10. One to change the bulb and 9 to pray against the spirit of darkness.Presbyterians: None. God has predestined when the lights will go on and off.Roman Catholics: None. They use candles.Unitarians: We choose not to make a statement either in. Ted won.“You need to take off your jersey and let us see them nice hooters you have,” Ted told the teen.“No way! Go away and leave me alone,” Kay replied, as she looked over at her mother for help, but she was on her back being fucked by Hennery and oblivious to everything else.“Have it your way, but when we leave, we’re going to take your mother with us because she has been willing to show us her appreciation. Being you think you’re too good for us, we’re going to leave you behind,” Ted replied.“I’m only fifteen. I don’t even have a boyfriend yet and have never gone on a date. I certainly never have had sex. All of you are old enough to be my father,” Kay said, starting to cry.“You may be fifteen and still a virgin, but you have a nice little sexy body and it was made for fucking. If you’re not willing to use it, you’ll just have to stay behind when we leave,” Ted told the teen.Kay wanted to scream at her mother for help, but her mother was far too occupied having sex.“She’s not.
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