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‘The night is on me,’ he said, ripping a twenty out of a thick money clip. ‘Come on, Carl,’ I said, trying to feign insult, ‘I have no intention of drinking all night on your dollar.’ ‘Round for round then,’ Carl answered, ‘I’ll get the first.’ He handed the waitress the money before I could disagree. It was going to be good night. Carl was not the person you would want to see at a funeral or any other solemn affair. He was too loud, and insisted everyone knew he was there. When I wanted to party, he was my go-to guy. He was too big for anyone to voice disapproval of and too nice to dislike. Above all, he was boisterous. Hockey was a good sport for him, all the fans were loud. After a few beers, I was loud with him. The tables next to us became loud as well. They all became Carl tables. I met Edith and Ralph Wilkerson, Frank and Bob and two rather butch looking older women named Mary and Thelma. We became a small party zone and our cheerleader, Carl, kept us going as if we were. The Democratic People’s Republic of Korea has officially ceased to exist,” the new National Security Adviser informed President Bernie Sanders, Vice-President Elizabeth Warren, Prime Minister Emma Watson of the UK, UN Secretary-General Monica Bellucci, and me.“The annexation of Canada into the United States is commencing at least, so that’s some good news. Ten new states where provinces used to be. And we’re definitely in talks with Mexico to help arrange the union of our countries. So, there’s some good news, if nothing else. It helps when all of the governments are run by demons, so are on the same page, of course,” I smirked as I contemplated my planned consolidation of the unoccupied world into two major empires: the USA and the Asmodean Empire.“Well, I’m afraid that I have some more bad news. The New Celestial Army has invaded Mongolia, Laos, Vietnam, South Korea, Tajikistan, Uzbekistan, Turkmenistan, Kazakhstan, and Kyrgyzstan all at once. You know what they intend to do, of.
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