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We need the money if we are to do anything. Again, no makeup bothered me. Again, dressing in men's clothes made me feel hinky, like a crossdresser. On the way to the LIRR I picked up eye shadow, rouge, lipstick, nail polish, a powder compact and a shower cap at the drug store. I fixed myself up on the train.The train pulled into Penn Station. Eventually I left the crowd and headed upstairs to the tower above Madison Square Garden, where I work for MSG Network. I did my usual technical computer work for the office staff. It is good work. I get to roam the entire complex including the Garden and do things at my own pace. Although I'm given tasks, I'm my own boss. About 11:30 one of the secretaries asked me if I would join some of the other girls for lunch. I readily agreed. I don't know why. I'm not one of the GIRLS.We went to the Amtrak level and I had a yogurt. We talked through most of the lunch hour. It was the normal pleasant conversation we normally have about us, our husbands. "She picked up her camera and started taking a seemingly endless stringof photos."Let's go out in the living room."She went first and I followed. Now a new string of thoughts was goingthrough my head. She seemed to really think I looked like a woman. Wasthat possible? What was I going to do about that? How do I get out ofthis mess? Too late. She was taking more pictures and prompting me tostand this way or that, to sit, cross my legs, stand, blow a littlekiss... And I was doing it all. My brain kept saying STOP, but my body was nolonger mine. I wasn't a man the way I was dressed. I was Mary'scompliant doll. She was enjoying this and I was going along with it.Worse, I had let her believe I wanted to look like this. I wasthoroughly stuck. Finally she put the camera down."Jim - no that's won't work. I can't call you Jim when you look likethat. Do you have a name picked out? If not, I can think of a few."I slowly shook my head. A name? A female name? 'Of course not !!' -that's what I.
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