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She silently went to the kitched and prepared two BLTs and called me to the table to eat. We chatted about what was going on and I asked her about her job and how things were going. She mentioned that she was happy with what she was doing and the people at her office were great. I asked if there were any cute guys she could go out with and she replied that there were a couple that looked good. Then the conversation turned a bit hot. "There's a couple of cute guys but I can feel they just want me for something all men want," she said. "And what would that be?" "Well, they look at my tits all the time and it creeps me out. Makes me feel dirty." Trying to sound brotherly, I told her, "Well, they are very attractive, you know. In fact, those are some of the best boobs I've seen. No disrespect." She looked at me strangely which told me that she may have been offended by what I said. I immediately apologized and told her I had meant no malice by what I said. She just smiled and to my. "No thanks, I'll handle it." I brushed her hand away and dashed for the toilet.Someday I'm going to have to write a book: Zen and the Art of Elimination. I usually mediated when I took a dump. Hey, we’ve got to think of something when we do our business. I figured I might as well use the process of voiding to find enlightenment along with relief.The morning chill had left the toilet seat so cold my balls wanted to climb back inside my body. I squirmed and tried to find a warm spot as shivers ran up my spine and rattled my teeth. What the fuck happened last night? How did I end up naked between those two sexy women? I racked my hung-over brain and stumbled through a misty fog bank of blurry memories filed away in last night's memory folder.Exhibits A-D: Four steaming and delicious mugs of hot buttered rum and homemade brandy (a federal offense).Exhibits E-F: Two contests to determine who could take the most hits from a marijuana-filled hookah in sixty seconds. It became the loser's.
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