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I pulled my top over my head, shook my hair out – wow, I wish I hadn’t shaken my head – sat on the edge of my bed and just flopped back feeling the lovely softness of the bed I’d spent so many happy years in.I sat up, pulled off my socks, pulled down my jeans, stood up, put them over the back of a chair and looked at myself in the mirror – god, I looked tired. I ran my hands over my boobs, pulled my nipples a bit – they immediately went hard, slid my hands down to my tummy and hooked my fingers in the sides of my thong.I watched myself as I slowly started to pull them down.“Leave those on darling, you look so beautiful in them.”“Oh dad, you scared me,” I said shocked that I’d missed him coming up the stairs.“Sorry darling, I’ve been here a couple of minutes, you looked so young again getting undressed, it took my mind back to when you used to live here, can I come in?”“You don’t have to ask dad, of-course you can come in.” I took him by the hand and led him across to the bed. . When I reflect for longer (like now) I can feel a pressure in my chest which is the bundled up feelings and overwhelming devotion. I am his sub and will do whatever He asks me to do whenever he asks me and with whomever He decides. I do not need to think about it. This leaves me free to devote my attention to doing it well. In my vanilla life I am a decision maker and a driver and impatient to get things done. When I have decided on something I go for it. Bridging this gap is something I am still learning. I have to remind myself as his sub that it is not about me. As his sub I must learn to be patient and wait until He tells me to do something. For example I would like to have some Ben wa balls so that I can train my vaginal muscles to be tight despite all the stretching they regularly endure. The vanilla me wants to rush out and buy some and start using them. As a sub I have to learn to be patient and wait. He will decide if and when I get them - and if and when I am to wear them.
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