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You’re still alive; you took the second breath. Congratulations. Now, take another.’ Of course, Adarian taught everyone that lesson. Only for most other rangers, it was meant to keep them centered in combat situations. For me, it was social. I didn’t realize until my first day of ranger training how much I’d used Yavara as a crutch, and that’s when I realized the crutch had crippled me. I sat by myself in the mess hall, isolated myself in the barracks, and went to the library during rest hours. When I was assigned to a squad, I couldn’t hide myself anymore. After three panic attacks, Adarian pulled me out. ‘One breath, then another.’ He told me as I clutched my chest, eyes bulging, my heart pounding. ‘Shit, Elena.’ He said, ‘I’ve seen you operate under fire without so much as breaking a sweat, but Brian cracks a gay joke and you shatter. No, don’t give me that; it’s not your fault. It’s mine. Most rangers are like wolves, you see; they operate in packs, and the lone wolf dies. But. She smiled and said “Good, and now just out of curiosity, these affairs, friends or strangers and younger or older, if you feel uncomfortable, please don’t answer. I know this is completely inappropriate, but hey, we haven’t exactly been super professional all this time have we?”“No problem, I am not offended and don’t mind” I said. “I was cheated by my GF in school and since then I have lost my belief in love and just believe that man and woman need to be together to satisfy the feelings of lust, so I bed anybody and everybody who is willing. This ranges from the occasional no strings attached old flame from college, all the way to a new conquest, older and younger around home and maybe meet in party”“Hmmmm…I can see that we will be getting along real well as I appreciate someone who is brutally honest and doesn’t mince their words, and you seem to be that kind of a guy.” she said smiling knowingly, “also what is your height and how do you get time for parties when you appear to be.
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