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Pick me up. Then, kiss me and I’ll turn into the most beautiful woman you have ever seen. I’ll then give you more sexual pleasure that you ever could have dreamed of.”The man looked at the frog for a short time, reached over, picked it up carefully, and placed it in his front breast pocket.Then the frog said, “What, are you nuts? Didn’t you hear what I said? I said kiss me and I will give you sexual pleasures like you have never had.”He opened his pocket, looked at the frog and said, “Nah, at my age I’d rather have a talking frog.”A group of kindergartners were trying to become accustomed to the first grade. The biggest hurdle they faced was that the teacher insisted on no baby talk.“You need to use ‘big people’ words,” she’d always remind them. She asked Chris what he had done over the weekend. “I went to visit my Nana.”“No, you went to visit your GRANDMOTHER. Use big people words!” She then asked Mitchell what he had done. “I took a ride on a choo-choo.”She said, “No, you took a. “If she can indulge, I can too,” Hoffy replied, equally tartly, winking at me.And I knew then that maybe Miss Sinn was, for once in her life, totally wrong. It seemed that Sarah and Hoffy weren’t actually that vanilla. Seeing that I had a green light to flirt, I reached for the last oyster and licked it just like I had licked Oli’s pussy. And then sucked it into my mouth.“I didn’t,” I simpered, “Realize that oysters tasted like Oli’s pussy.”While Hoffy and my eyes never the others’, we both heard Mons laugh and say, “What, with my tongue in your tail?”Hoffy looked at Mons and smiled, obviously instantly picking up what Mons had said.I picked it up too. But why, I asked myself, had Mons at that point mentioned a line from the Bard that my English teacher at school had never explained. It was only on the internet that I discovered it was a reference to oral sex.I too glanced across at Mons, clearly looking puzzled and she said to me, “Hoffy may be gay, but there is one man she loves.”I.
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