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I learned how other women felt also having guilt about their rape and no matter what, the fact that they had said the word “No” should have been enough. I learned that it is important to be careful of the situations you place yourself in, but that you can’t beat yourself up for what is in the past. You can only learn from it and work to keep yourself in safer situations. Some of the things really got to me and brought me to tears and I was glad I wasn’t there alone as I felt Elizabeth’s hand touch my hand when I felt myself crying. I made it through the meeting and I think for the first time I understood why people went to those sessions. The question was could I do what it took to open up my heart and mind to accept help and to open up with myself and others what had happened to me. We left the meeting quietly and Elizabeth was quiet in the car after, she just asked me if I was okay to which I answered just by nodding. She knew enough to let me wind down and I was surprised. They'd end up putting so many players on me that scoring of the other players in combo shots became too easy.So I hung out in the internet chatrooms.I suppose it's the only way for me to get a relationship.I was after all, looking for girls to date, not to cyber.Any idiot can get some by cyber.And I was not going to share my emotions and feelings with a faceless illusion.Ah. PuckPusher 3000 just came in.I started typing. "Hi, oh punisher of hockey pucks :)" Hello you basher of volley balls. :D"We know more about our sports lives than who we really are.Hmm. She never sent that grin before.Perhaps it's time to change that. "Want to switch to IM?" Sure. My MSN screen name is the same as my room one." Same here." We switched over. "We never exchanged names." Sure we did. How do you think we are holding this conversation?" You know what I mean. Our real names." Oh that. You really want to know more about me?"Why wouldn't I?" Most guys are scared of the fact I swing a mean hockey stick.".
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