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Someone down there had been reading my columns, it seems. I patiently explained that I was known as the Bearded Lady for good reason; I had a full, dark, bushy beard and was unlikely to be seen as a woman.The only response was: "Hey - kinky. That's great! The audience will love it."So I agreed, after all I consider myself second only to Rush Limbaugh as a font of wisdom on all subjects, and even he wouldn't be as well informed as I on crossdressing. I dug the wig out of the recesses of closet, found something to wear in my $9.99 or less wardrobe that matched my reddish beard and went forth unto the Studio, suitcase in hand. You didn't think I would try and go dressed, did you? The makeup person didn't bat an eye at me, but then there was a 4' tall green alien on my left and two Elvis clones on my left, one old and one young - remarkably like the stamp images.It was fun waiting in the Green Room, that's the place where the guests wait until it's their turn to go on camera. I wasn't. ” she said softly.“And?” he demanded.“That I'm pregnant with your baby, and that if he stays, he will have to raise your child and that you will come and go as you wish here.”“Good little whore.” he said, then turned and cockily strode out the door, taking my wife's car as he left.After sitting in the dark, stunned, for an hour, I quietly made my way out the back door, walking back to my car. I drove home thinking about what I had just seen and heard. As I pulled into the driveway, I decided to pretend that I had no idea what had happened, pretending that I knew nothing, and hoping that my wife would do the same. Everything could go on just like before, as long as I didn't know.I parked the car and came into the house. As late as it was, I did what I would have done any other time and quietly made my way to our bedroom. As I walked in, I noticed that my wife was wearing her sexiest nightie, sitting on the bed waiting for me, her legs held tightly together.“Um, hi, how did it go?” I.
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