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I retreated into myself to avoid the consequences that, for me, love brought me. My dad was unable to express his love for us in any other way except by sex. Fucking was the only way he could connect with another human being. Justin needed to read up about it, I knew from experience.After lunch he and I talked while Angela hit the mall with his bank account. He confessed to me that he loved Angela and wanted to be with her. He said he never meant to hurt me, anybody actually. He couldn't face telling me the truth, indeed, couldn't face the truth that was obvious to everyone except him and me.Clutching at my strawman, I wouldn't let him go. I manipulated him to where I wanted him to be, not where he wanted to be. That was my need, not his.I know I'm not 'fixed' or 'cured.' Justin told me I'd 'taken the first step to recovery.' I wish he'd stop reading those damned recovery books! He so needs to be the bloody expert on everything! He wants me to stay here, but I know he'd drive me nuts. ” I can’t tell if he saw me looking up his shorts but the whiskey in me makes me not care as much. Stepping down the ladder“ Good for you boy, girls are trouble. It’s time for another drink” As he was stepping down I couldn’t keep my eyes off his bulge. Mr Smith return with two more drink. “Drink up Teddy, its going to be a long night!” We finish these drinks faster the first and get back to work. He tells me it’s my turn to be on the ladder. I climb up and work resumes.The sports talk turns to lock room talk about which celebrities are the sexiest. The room feels like it’s getting hotter and Mr Smith turns up the heat. “ So teddy what is your favorite sexual experience you have had.” I look down at him, not sure if I heard him correct. “How about I go First Teddy.” Mr Smith begins to tell me about his trip to Germany and being tied to the bed by the innkeeper and his wife… mind goes into over load and my bulge turns into a full on erection and Mr Smith is loving it. “Teddy, Teddy boy.
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