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It was almost impossible to make the choice to leave you and Ol'Jack and I question if it was the right decision but I wasn't willing to risk putting you in danger from what I have run away from. While I cannot prove it I have a very strong feeling that they are looking for me and I don't want to bring my past into your lives. I'm so sorry that the night in the hotel I was unable to make love with you. I can't explain what happens to me other then to say I have flashbacks. Please know it was not anything that you did and if only I would have been able to share that with you I know it would have been the most loving, romantic and beautiful experience of my life. Joseph, I don't want to sound like a girl with a teenaged crush but I'm scared I have fallen in love with you and Ol'Jack. And that's why I had to make the decision to head off on my own because if I caused anything to happen to you or Ol'Jack I would forever hate myself. Know I love you both with all my. PO1 Dillon had called late Friday afternoon and told her he'd take her to get Enlisted uniforms. He'd suggested they do this at NAS Alameda, but Chief Kostowe had told them to hold off on the plan.Lenore had told the Gunny and Kostowe what Lieutenant Wheeler had said in the MEPS station. The Gunny had snorted; clearly dismissing the statement that some other poor deserving sailor had gotten shafted. Kostowe had told her "Opportunity comes with cost, Collins." Lenore quietly swore in the recesses of her soul that she would earn the chance that had been given her.And that was another thing – Kostowe had begun calling her by her last name once she'd sworn to defend the Constitution. She'd only seen him briefly Friday, as she was closing the boat up, he'd come to offer her his congratulations, and she'd hugged him impulsively, a gesture he'd returned.One thing she did on Saturday was hard to decide to do. Dillon and the Gunny had both told her that her hair could not reach her collar..
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