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With great difficulty, the Englishman admits that he has been drinking all day, that his daughter got married that morning, and that he drank champagne and a few bottles of wine at the reception, and many single malts scotches thereafter.Quite upset, the policeman proceeds to alcohol-test (breath test) the Englishman and verifies that he is indeed totally sloshed.He asks the Englishman if he knows why, under French Law, he is going to be arrested.The Englishman answers with a bit of humour,“No sir, I do not! But while we’re asking questions, do you realize that this is a British car and that my wife is driving on the other side?”This has been made possible by a sharing Reader.If God was a Woman...1. Sex would smell like chocolate2. Farts would smell like roses3. Dogs would smell spring fresh4. Babies would come from vending machines5. Men would be born with a permanent erection6. All women would have the same size breasts7. There would be no cellulite8. Every food on the planet would. Dad went back to reading his paper.After about 10 minutes, I got the shock of my life. Mom came into the living room with a dark blue bath towel draped around her and carrying a couple of smaller towels, the same colour. The bath towel covered her boobs and down to the tops of her thighs, leaving most of her legs and the area above her boobs completely exposed. I had never seen her like this before and I felt my prick nudge against my shorts.“That’s better,” she said. “Now Rasheed, I’ve brought in some small towels. I’m going to lie on the massage table and you’ll have to put one over my bottom under the bath towel and then take the bath towel off so you can massage me properly.”I swallowed, not quite believing what I was hearing and trying to cover the slight bulge in my shorts with one hand. “Sure mom” I said, rather timidly.With the bath towel still wrapped around her, she lay herself face down on the massage table. I grabbed a smaller towel from her hand and hesitated whilst she.
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