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"Life is like a penis - simple, relaxed and hanging free...it's women who make it hard."A guy goes into the confessional box after years being away from the Church. He pulls aside the curtain, enters and sits himself down. There's a fully equipped bar with crystal glasses,the best vestry wine, Fosters on tap, cigars and liqueur chocolates nearby, and on the wall a fine photographic display of buxom ladies who appear to have mislaid their garments.He hears a priest come in:"Father, forgive me for it's been a very long time since I've been to confession and I must admit that the confessional box is much more inviting than it used to be".The priest replies, "Get out, you idiot. You're on my side".Dear Abby,My husband is a liar and a cheat. He has cheated on me from the beginning, and, when I confront him, he denies everything. What's worse, everyone knows that he cheats on me. It is so humiliating. Also, since he lost his job 14 years ago, he hasn't even looked for a new one. All he does. An hour or so later, we lay on her bed, panting."They feel even bigger now!" If that was an attempt to get me hard again, it was about ten minutes too soon. It was also a spectacular success! She lay on her back, but rolled towards me as I tickled her tummy, just above the downy pubic hair. In that position, her breasts completely filled the space available."We ought to measure them ... measure you ... for a bra. It will save time when you go to the shop tomorrow." I don't think I dare go back there again!" She sat up, her tits lolloping into her lap on the bed. "Oh, look at them, they're getting enormous."I already was, and they were. "Have you got a tape measure?" Over there, in the dressing table drawer."I fetched it, and helped her up from the bed. The result was remarkable. From being a slim, flat-chested girl of five feet nothing just a week ago, she was now a slim, huge-breasted girl of five feet nothing. She needed to find a 32G bra, and where was she going to find one of.
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