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"In my own confused mind I thought that if I told you what I wanted to do, you would understand somehow. I didn't want to go behind your back. I didn't want to deceive you. I never for a moment wanted to humiliate or belittle you. It just never entered my mind. But I did, didn't I. I did humiliate and belittle you. Just telling you what I wanted was enough, wasn't it."I looked at Howard carefully. I don't know what kind of reaction I expected, but he remained calm and composed. I pushed on."I don't know how to tell you how ashamed I am of what I have done to you and how sorry I am. I know an apology is not enough. Ginny has recommended a psychiatrist that she says can help me. I do need help to understand why I behaved the way I did. I will call her next week to see if she will accept me as a patient."You must know by now that I will do anything to preserve our marriage. I love you with all my heart and I can't imagine my life without you. I am begging you to give me another chance. I. The heat was oppressive as I closed my eyes tightly. I was trying very hard to fall asleep. Then silence enveloped me, as did the darkness which swallowed my whole being and sleep visited me at last.Early morning finally arrived as the birds sang to awaken me during the dawn. A faint light shone through the red blossoms of the flame tree outside. I woke up disoriented with long lost familiar feelings of warmth beside me and feeling those butterfly kisses every few inches over my warm skin again. Wet lips, together with a hot breath, were kissing my skin.With my brain still sleepy, my body responded to the touches and kisses. The heat, the veritable heat of a presence made me respond with all my body's needs. I came up to him, rising to meet him. Needing something again, giving myself freely once more. Being taken in a way, I had nearly forgotten until that moment. Moaning, grabbing the sheets of the bed to hold on in a tight grip. I reached out for something that only another being.
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