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On the third day a suite opened up. Desperate, I booked it."I'm not hearing a problem." It's the honeymoon suite. The groom ran off with the bride's mother, so the wedding was cancelled." What?" The groom and the..."I said, "Not that, we're in the honeymoon suite?" then calming down added, "I guess it's okay, weird but okay. Is there only one bed?" Yeah, but there's more. A strict policy is posted on the web-site, it's limited to honeymooners. Mom, it's the only way we'll get in." You lied, you told them we're on our honeymoon?" Well it's more like the lady I was talking to assumed we were and I didn't correct her."I stared at him."Okay, they're pretty much the same thing." "Son there must be other resorts on the island." There are a few, not nearly as nice, and they'll be aflow with drunken spring breakers. Mom, this is the one you wanted to go to." So what are you proposing?"He pulled an envelope from his pocket, turned it over, shook it. Out fell my ex-husband's wedding and my. . there's an ad for "Bear Removers."He calls the number and the man says he'll be over in 30 minutes.The bear remover arrives and gets out of his van.He's got a ladder, a baseball bat, 12-gauge shotgun, and a mean heavily scarred old dog."What are you going to do?" the homeowner asks."I'm going to put this ladder up against the roof, then I'm going to go up there and I'll knock the bear off the roof with this baseball bat.When the bear falls off the roof, the dog is trained to grab his testicles and not let go.The bear will then be subdued enough for me to put him in the cage in the back of the van."He then hands the shotgun to the homeowner."What's the shotgun for?" asks the homeowner."If the bear knocks me off the roof, shoot the dog."This one is compliments of Chuck...A young law student, having failed his Law exam, goes up to his crusty old professor, who is renowned for his razor-sharp legal mind.Student: "Sir, do you really understand everything about this subject?"Professor:.
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