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Just a few days after the dream (which i was not able to get out of my mind), I was online with Raj. I had been drinking and taking some pain medicines, because I have some health issues. One side effect of these medicines, is that they loosen my tongue. It is the best way to get me to say what is on my mind.Anyway, Raj and I were talking. It was a normal evening, normal conversation. At one point in time the conversation turned to why we felt both of our relationships had ended. It was a very touching conversation, and I ended it by saying that it did not matter in the long run. Because I knew who I loved, and it was the only man on the planet who I felt was the other half of me. He asked me if he knew the man and I said yes. He then asked me if I’d tell him who it was. I refused. I had a feeling he felt the same way, but the same as in my dream was not willing to ruin our friendship over my own feelings. He pressed me to tell him, because I always told him everything. I responded. "No, wait until tomorrow morning." I could understand her reasoning, as my thoughts were on Rick for hours before I received any rest for myself.Nola took it better than I thought she would when I informed her about Rick in the morning. "I'm glad he has died. I wouldn't like to live if I was like him. Seven long years he has been like that. How could he stand it?" I don't know. He did seem to take an interest in life and the people around him. I think for a bit you were closer to him than anyone except Trudy. He was so nice to you." Not all the time. Dad, do you remember when I felt he was taking over my life, and I felt as if I was being owned by him?" Yes, I remember that. Why?" Remember how you said to counter the feeling? I followed your suggestion and closed my eyes, just reading what he was saying with my fingertip. He said some awful nasty things to me. I didn't want to bother you with what he was saying. It seemed as if I was being hypnotized. If I closed my eyes, I could.
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