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She isn't like that now though. I'm going to go to the office tomorrow, so we can spend the day together. She and I need to get some things straightened out too, especially if we're all going to be living with each other again." Go easy on her, okay? She's got a lot on her plate right now already. She isn't looking forward to what Dr. Fellows might have to tell her." I wasn't planning to argue with her. I meant we should try to be closer than we've been for the past months. We were so close before, all of us, but things came up that seemed to make us all want to take sides. I didn't want to do that, and I'd already decided I wasn't going to just stay there, doing nothing, while Joyce tried to keep things together all by herself. I guess I thought it would be easier for her, if she didn't feel like she had to take care of me and the kids too. I can see now that it was a mistake. I guess I already knew it would be, but I was being selfish. I wanted the children acting differently with. Ralph would be in the place where she laid too soon and there was nothing I could do about it. Our few days together had only reinf***ed how my life had been for so many years – no c***dren, no love, and a man that I should have not married. Back then, how was I to know what love was all about? Ralph was my first boyfriend in high school and his kisses were just like what I’d seen between my parents. Wasn’t that the way it was supposed to be? He was like my Dad and I had become like my Mom. Jackie had opened a new world for me. We had walked naked though the house, had tender moments by the stove, kept each other warm in front of the open refrigerator, and feasted on each other all over the house. It was wickedly wonderful. I could never imagine Ralph eating me in the flickering candlelight like she had with my ass parked on the polished dark wood of the dinning room table between the knife and fork with the white cloth napkin rolled up in the silver napkin ring beside the wine glass.
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