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He was good looking, made enough to help put food on the table, and, most importantly, he didn’t beat on me. Yeah, I know. Low expectations, right? That was Oakland for you. You survived and that was, usually, enough. Still, sometimes, you wanted more. Sometimes you forgot yourself and you started dreaming of something better. It always got you into trouble, but sometimes you just couldn’t help yourself. So, there I was, in the middle of one of the hardest places on earth, soaked to the skin and freezing my skinny white ass off, dreaming again like a dumbass. It was the night before Christmas and not only weren’t the stockings hung from our non-existent fireplace with care, we didn’t even have a proper tree. James, romantic that he was, had found one of those fake silver trees in a dumpster and had done his best to straighten out the branches and make it look less ghetto. Really, it was a lost cause, but I loved him for trying at least, knowing that that only reason he really gave a. Again, I spent the rest of theday in my new finery.All that summer, Mom would call me into her room every week or so, andgive me some more girly things. Mostly, they were more panties and brasin a variety of satin in soft girly colors, but there were some moresocks, several pairs with a cloud of lace at the ankle, and two morepair of shoes, one in pink and one in shiny black to match my whiteones. I was getting a little uncomfortable, I mean, I wasn't a girl,but Mom never pushed me, and I did enjoy those hugs and kisses. Okay,they were kisses that were more appropriate to a girlfriend than amother sometimes, but that just added to the fun. I mean, a boy wearinglingerie was a taboo, right? And having his very pretty mother kiss himon the lips, while he was wearing lingerie was most certainly taboo, butit wasn't hurting anyone, and it felt good. Besides, I felt that I wasmaking Mommy very happy, and that made me happy.School started back up, and was a drag. I was small, didn't.
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