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You didn’t put any money in the poor box!’ The Irishman replied, ‘Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and according to you, that’s the same as putting it in!’Lemon Squeeze There once was a religious young woman who went to Confession. Upon entering the confessional, she said, ‘Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.’ The priest said, ‘Confess your sins and be forgiven.’ The young woman said, ‘Last night my boyfriend made passionate love to me seven times.’ The priest thought long and hard and then said, ‘Squeeze seven lemons into a glass and then drink the juice.’ The young woman asked, ‘Will this cleanse me of my sins?’ The priest said, ‘No, but it will wipe that smile off of your face.’Catholic Dog Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for company. One day the dog died, and Muldoon went to the parish priest and asked, ‘Father, my dog is dead ... Could ya’ be saying’ a mass for the poor creature?’Father Patrick replied, ‘I’m afraid not; we cannot have. She's the same age as you are and you've hung out together for the whole six years you've been coming to this camp. Like many whose parents grew up in the C.C.C.P. (USSR) Katerina is an agnostic, she neither knows nor cares if God does/doesn't exist. However, she has memorized the gospel of Matthew, and can/will quote parts of it to shut up the pushy types of Christians. Katerina doesn't like being touched unexpectedly and can react violently if you do. You've gotten a bloody nose from her elbow once or twice before you learned to always say her name to get her attention rather than touch her. You don't know why she's like that but you both do/don't want to find out: do so you can help, don't in case you finding out makes it worse.Katerina likes music, dancing, and being outdoors. She plays the drums and her favorite symphony is Beethoven's Fifth. Her parents own a local chain of automatic-carwash/gas-station franchises from Marathon and are kind-of local bigwigs. You've met them a.
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