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Maybe their preacher won’t be quite as sleep-inducing as the local Methodist guy had been a few weeks back.So I find a place close to the front -- I’m in the fourth row -- and sure enough, their pastor is a youngish looking guy, partially balding but sturdy, and he’s telling us about how God shouldn’t be thought of as this “anthropomorphic being,” but rather simply as a “creative force” in the universe.I thought that sounded pretty sensible and modern, but a little while later, after the guy quit sermonizing, he says, “Let us pray,” and everybody bows their heads and he starts out, “Oh, Great Creative Force...” and I kind of sputter a little bit to keep from just laughing out loud, because, to me, Old GCF sounded pretty anthropomorphic at that point. But I don’t embarrass myself and pretty soon everybody is picking up their stuff and preparing to file out and shake hands with the young balding guy out at the door.That’s when I see her for the first time. She’s a young woman – clearly. ..”“But what, Mike”?“Uh, Sir, it has moved by six inches.”“Do you think this is some sort of joke”?“N-no, Sir. I am only reporting what can clearly be seen on our satellite view.”“You are telling me that we can determine the position of an object in the ocean to within less than six inches”?“Sir, we can tell if a penny on the sidewalk is heads up or tails up.”“No shit!, er, I mean that is fascinating. I had no idea our surveillance technology was so precise.”“No, Sir. Most people don’t. Our precision is deliberately concealed to avoid public reaction.”“You mean if people knew to what degree their every move can be monitored, they might object”?“Yes, Sir.”“I assume that you have brought in others to crosscheck your findings”?“Of course, Sir. Every expert from every shift has been brought in to corroborate my analysis and to investigate the matter.”“And you all agree”?“Yes, Sir. Our system shows hard evidence that the island moved six inches between scans.”“Mike, make this a ‘Priority.
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