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Do sit down."He was in his late seventies I guessed wearing pale flannel trousers and a striped blazer. He wore a tie that had the air of a demented snake caught in an act of strangulation. It carried the blood and vomit stripes of the Marylebone Cricket Club.I felt I ought to apologise for interrupting his enjoyment of the game at a crucial moment."Enjoyment?" he snorted. "There's more fun to be had sticking your head in a wasps nest. Completely useless bunch. No backbone. No fibre." He held his hand out. "Colonel Snell," he said, "My friends call me 'basher'. You can too." Unusual nickname, 'basher'. Cricket? Bit of a batsman were you? Army days? " I said."No," said Snell. "Before that. School days. Some of my friends seemed to think I had an inordinate fondness for the masturbatory arts. Quite right of course. It's kept me fit for the past sixty years. Can't complain can I?"I was regretting asking. I was keen to change the subject. "Mr Clegg said you had a possible project for. .. I lasted only about 30 seconds. I nutted inside her. She chuckled and told me I would start to last longer the more we did it. She knew I was a virgin and I told her I was before we dated. We dated for about another year and broke up. We broke up on good terms. She had several boyfriends over the years and I found out on Facebook she was now a lesbian. We were in our mid 20's when I found this out. She was married to some girl who looked more manly than I did. I never understood that. Why be a lesbian and date a girl that looks like a man? Fast forward 25 years later. I get a Facebook notification from Mari. Wow. That's crazy. She wanted to see how I was doing. I noticed her profile was now single and all her pictures with her wife were gone. She told me she just separated from her wife and was sad. I knew exactly what this was all about. She wanted some dick. And guess what, not only do I not pass up sex, she was my first love. We have that connection. So we planned this little.
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