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.. One day I made a suicide attempt :-( Again thanks to Evert-Jan and Lindsay their love and care for me, I failed on that one…After I tried to commit suicide, I was hospitalized for over half a year. And not a normal hospital, but the type of hospital where you were tied up and d**gged 24 hours a day... Lindsay and Evert-Jan were shocked when they discovered this and tried to get me out. But in the beginning they were powerless, because according to the experts this was needed for me to recover... Doctors with methods that were used for centuries, because they did not know better :-(Thanks to their perseverance Lindsay and Evert-Jan found a Swiss doctor, specialized in cases like me. So when he took over control (after Evert-Jan had to persuade the hospital with legal threats first) I moved to Switzerland. Therapy started and with success...In the meantime I 'officially' changed jobs and employer, just to cover up that I was being hospitalized. Only a few board members of that. I laughed suddenly, a throaty, scratchy sound; but unmistakablyfeminine. Like some lady doing a cartoon ogress voice. That made melaugh harder. I convulsed there in fits of hysterical laughter, theground making soft squelching sounds where the throes of my chest dugfurrows in the cool mud with my boobs.Breathlessness lifted the hysteria. I gathered myself up. Even with myboobs propping me up, I could tell I was heavy. My arms seemed a lotlonger in relation to my chest than they used to be, at least. Thathelped. I could feel the sinewy muscles bunching in cords as I liftedmyself out of the muck, black peat sloughing off my torso. Ew. Thistime, I took it slow. My legs felt stubby, especially contrasted withhow I could feel my hands brush my knees even as I stood up. After a bitof wrestling with my new proportions I worked out a half-waddling, armswinging trot as the most stable way to propel myself.Finally tucked away, I huddled in the mouth of the cave, trying toignore the feeling of.
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