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Every time I look at you I start to get queasy inside. I know all about you but that somehow doesn't seem to matter. All that matters to me is how you make me feel." I knew how hard that was for him to say, and he meant it, every word of it. It was all over his face, especially in his eyes. I wanted to say something, but found myself tongue tied, unable to speak. Gary kissed me again, this time a bit longer. In defense, I said, "I have to use the can Gary. I'll be right back." I used the time to compose myself. I had been dressing as a girl for five months, so I suppose it was okay to feel like a girl now, but? "I'm going to be a female sooner or later anyway, so why not enjoy it?" Those words bounced around inside of my head as I tried to make sense of the way I felt at that moment. I thought about that shy smile of his, those puppy dog eyes, and his quiet, gentle way, and decided that yes, I can enjoy being a girl. I like Gary, and if he likes me, then what's the problem? I. "Oh my God! But, you're a transsexual! You can't have babies; - canyou?" he added as uncertainty crossed his mind.I nodded nervously as I replied."Well- Yes, sort of." What d'you mean!" It's a private thing. It's nothing to do with you. It's all about theexperiments in Africa."He sensed I was reluctant and studied my concernedly."Don't you want to talk about it?" Not really," I replied, "I lied just now. There are somecomplications." His expression softened as he spoke softly."It's best to talk. Troubles shared, are troubles halved. I can helpyou, you know that." I can't. I just can't talk about it. Not now anyway."He reached towards me and gave me a hug as he whispered. "I won't talk to anybody about it. I know what it means to be betrayed.Just look at me. Before I met my wife, my life as a tranny was hell. Iknow all about betrayal and ridicule. This club- it's my salvation aswell as my business. Where would I be without this -and you?"I knew Jack was right. His club -our club now.
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