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It was more than the powerful draw of her adolescence. I liked her. I liked this sweet, articulate, smart girl pretending to rebel. I adored her. I couldn’t imagine anything more exciting than an intimate relationship with her, and that desire was an aspect of my sexuality I’d never known I had. So forbidden, it struck a deep chord with me.I looked at my hands and saw age; skin slightly looser than in my youth, scars and calluses from a lifetime of work. I was old. I might not feel it, but I was an old man in the eyes of the world.It was wrong. This wasn’t a complex situation. I was wrong.I opened my mouth to tell her and blurted out instead, “You haven’t thanked me enough for the jacket.”What the fuck?! Where had that come from? Had I lost control of my Goddamned mind?Rachael’s reaction made my chest ache. She gave me a pleased, bashful smile; so damned beautiful. Her eyes twinkled. Then a mesmerizing change took place that made me catch my breath. Her bashful, pleased smile faded. Suddenly, I began to get scared of my husband; would he kill ME? What would young Richard think if he found out?I started drinking, somewhat, and it was so easy to justify it with reasons, but it proved to provide even more agony for me!With my husband no longer sharing my bed, and my alcohol numbed reasoning not quite up to par, I naturally began masturbating more often, even fantasizing along the way.The forced separation and the alcohol took their toll, and one day, unaware that I was not alone in the house, I layed there on my bed with my finger on my clit, and cried out, "Oh God, I need (some) dick!"Maybe I should've said 'sex' or 'penis', but I said 'dick', and not two seconds later, I heard a glass fall, in the kitchen!Scared for a moment until I realized it had to be Richard, I took another slug of booze and wallowed there, in my misery.I must have dozed off for a few minutes, because when I opened my eyes, I got the shock of my life: Richard was standing there, right next to.
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