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“Good good” the man replies. “Well, go and wash yer hands then - I only want a ham sandwich”.Three hillbillies were sitting on the porch. The first hillbilly said “My wife is so dumb, yesterday she dragged home a brand new washer and dryer, and we ain’t even got electricity!” The second hillbilly said “My wife is stupider than yers, yesterday she brings home a new dishwasher, and we ain’t even got runnin’ water!” The third hillbilly said “My wife is even stupider! Yesterday I was in the kitchen and I saw her purse on the table. Everything was spilled out of it and there was a bunch of rubbers layin’ there ... and she ain’t even got a dick!”At a wedding party recently someone yelled “All the married men please stand next to the one person who has made your life worth living”. The bartender was nearly crushed to death.I heard a story about a guy who got a call from his doctor the day after a visit. From what I gathered, the doctor says “I hate to tell you this, but I have bad news and. Don't they know my panties are soaked?!?I whip into the driveway at startling speed, grab my purse and rush into the house. I drop my bag by the door and head to the bedroom, leaving a line of clothes in my wake. Shoes, jeans bunched in a pile, my blouse tossed on the couch, bra on the floor, my very wet panties on the bed. My already hard nipples seem to stiffen more with the cool air. We keep our toy collection in the bedside table. As I pull the lower drawer open, the over stuffed box inside catches, preventing the drawer from opening... "oh, come on!!" I whimper and plead. With a minutes fussing, I get the drawer open and open our toy box. I quickly grab the large flesh coloured suction-cup dildo, butt plug and the lube and make for the bathroom. I suction the dildo to the edge of the tub and begin to lube my ass; working a finger and then two in with the cool lube. My pussy is on fire. I press the cold metal of the butt plug against my asshole and slowly push it into me. It.
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