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She told me what a tough day she had and went to bed. I sat in front of the television, trying to decide if I should try for revenge, and if so, how?I mulled it over way into the night. I finally admitted to myself that she had been my wife, partner, and lover too long to try to hurt her. We had two children together. She was their mother. She was taking care of her needs. I needed to concentrate on mine. After years of marriage and raising children, I had become accustomed to placing my needs last. It was now more important that I take care of myself and take steps to make my life what it should be. It was a waste of my effort and time to concentrate on revenge. Living well would be the best payback.I slept very little that night. I was up early the next day. I left the house before Bonnie was out of bed. I really didn't have the stomach to see or listen to her. The problem was, where should I go? I didn't even know of many places that were open at six in the morning.As I traveled. "Dude, some of these guys are stupid enough they're gonnabelieve that!" I said."Try not to think so much," was Michelle's reply.Chapter Two:Take This Job and Shove ItThe main plan was quitting the cheer squad the next day. It was so mucheasier admitting I wanted out than in, but I was anticipating thismagical moment with what felt like being cheerfully scared. I kept it tomyself all day, but I went about my business with a teensy stomach achewhile acting like I didn't have a care in the world. I joked around withmy girls at lunch and in the hallways whenever we met each other betweenclasses. Hidden behind all that was this feeling Heidi was going tofreak out completely and stomp me to death before anyone could react andpull her off.When practice time came around, I didn't dress out at all. I had all mycheer stuff?except, of course, my cheer shoes, but they actually belongedto me?in some plastic bags from Target. I just showed up at the practicefield in my regular clothes, all.
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