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They were creating the pounding bass that was sailing through my body. A complex series of practiced manoeuvres resulted in a simple beat, impractical to ignore, impossible to escape. The men were standing in a semi-circle with one of the ceremonial fires in front of them. The intoxicating smoke floated thick above them, drifting aimlessly in the largely windless cleft in the hills near our village.Some of the young women were teasing the men, shaking their breasts in front of them, attempting to distract them from their drumming. It was fun, but a waste of time. The men wouldn't stop until this part of the ritual was over, and I wouldn't be lying here watching then. I wished I could be with them, teasing and giggling. It wouldn't be the first time.Every year one girl had to go through this, and I was honoured to be chosen, but I wished it could be someone else today, and that I could go and flirt with the boys. Last time I was here I lost any trace of innocence. I groped almost. "Boys are not supposed to bebrides."Every wedding I attended I'd watch the bride to see what she wore andwonder how she felt. What dress did she pick? Why did she select it? Howdid it fit her body? What did she wear under her dress? How did it makeher feel? Oh how I wanted to to be her, to take her place as the bride -the center of attention. As I got older, I'd take the opportunity togreet brides at weddings, give them a hug, or even if lucky, dance withthem so I could see the dress up close and feel the dress on her bodyall the while wondering how she must feel to wear something so prettyand wondering what she might be wearing wear under her dress.Then one day I found out my older sister was getting married. I love myolder sister dearly, but at the same time after hearing the news, Ihated her. I was so jealous of her. I pretended to be happy for her butat the same time I was jealous because she was going to be the bride Iwanted to be. My sister and my mother got to go through all.
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