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, was I being too analytical?It's just what had happened had felt so natural to me, it was after wards that the guilt feelings would surface, at the time our love making felt so good, so natural I just couldn't help myself. I was beginning to accept the fact I was queer, and my concern now was how to keep it hidden from the others girls in my barracks. Other girls had formed friendships and I looked for signs that some of them may also be more than platonic, but so far found nothing obvious.In Emma's letters to me she was always pestering me for details of my personal life, asking me about the other girls, and if I made any 'special friends' to tell her about them. Now I took great pleasure in telling her all about Darleen, how wonderful it had been. For the first time I think, I thanked her for teaching me how to love another woman.For the first time I didn't go to any dances that weekend, I knew I was going to dump Ray but was scared to do it. Darleen was encouraging me and we went. He was into girls but he had a motto:"Until I find a good pussy, a boipussy will just do fine."Not so long after these conversations in June, it was a very hot day, my parents were at work (and overwork) and I called him to our house one day with face, chest, my thighs and most importantly crouch and asshole shaved clean and had a good enema. My first time, breaking of virginity, had to give pleasure to both sides. I didn't wear a shirt but wore a black thong inside my white large shorts where he could see my asshole. When he knocked the door, I rubbed the lube on and into my freshly shaved butthole. He was shocked when I opened the door and he had no idea of my plans. We went to kitchen to offer him a cold beer then we passed to my room. While talking on our bed, I crawled to CDs to reach them. My shining asshole and black thong was viewable from where he sits. I just turned my head to him and asked simply "What you see can be yours whenever and however you want, but first you have.
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