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Q: Have you heard about the lawyer’s word processor?A: No matter what font you select, everything comes out in fine print.Q: How many lawyer jokes are there?A: Only three. The balance are documented case histories.Q: What’s the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer?A: A good lawyer knows the law. A great lawyer plays golf with the judge.Q: When lawyers die, why do vultures ignore them?A: Even a vulture has taste.Q: What is the definition of a shame (as in “that’s a shame”)?A: When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.Q: What is the definition of a “crying shame”?A: There were two empty seats.Q: What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?A: An offer you can’t understand.Q: Where can you find a good lawyer?A: In the cemetery.Q: Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?A: To practice.Q: What’s the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?A: Lawyers accumulate frequent flyer points.Q: What’s the difference between a lawyer and a terrorist?A: You can. Then I thought better of that. Brenda would never go out with him. So I waited. About ten minutes later Chris came in.He came over to me and slapped me on the shoulder and said, "Hey, I haven't seen ya in a couple of weeks. Where you been?" Been getting some overtime. What have you been up to?" Remember when we talked about what I should do about that girl at work that has the hots for me?" Yeah, Have you had any luck with that?"To my surprise he said, "Actually it's going pretty good. At first she acted like it was out of the question and I must have been crazy to even suggest that we have drinks. But then after I talked to her a few more times I got the feeling that she might change her mind. Then I asked her again today and she said that she would stop for a drink tomorrow night. She said she would stay for only one drink but I am halfway home."All I could think was 'Oh God now what do I do?' Well, I didn't do anything. I just sat there and listened as this asshole was telling me.
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