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. uuuh ... see ... we were playing, he touched me a little, I touched him a little, and ... and ... but we always stopped. Except that one time ... at the drive-in cinema..."Oh, God, what is wrong with me?! My dad is cool and all that, but it's not right to talk to him about how far I went with my stupid boyfriend."I touched his ... cock," I whisper even more quietly now, the last word barely makes it out of my mouth, "and it seemed like it hurt him, but when I wanted to take my hand off, he asked me to ... keep s-stroking him ... and that's when he panted and groaned and I was so afraid ... but after a little while he came. His cum was all over my hand and..."I fall silent and I realize that I slid to the other end of the couch while I said this. I shrink further into the arm of the couch thinking of how Mark wanted me to do that again, and I gave him all those lame excuses. The truth was it scared me."We never went that far after that. So he found someone who would."I'm not. I do sometimes develop an underlying resentmentat my situation. After all, what man gets married and ends up medicallycastrated while his wife enjoys her sexual freedom?Thankfully I don't have to go to an office every day. I can make a quitedecent living doing my creative work from home. I don't have to have amasculine wardrobe to match my feminine one and I can spend the morningworking in my dressing gown until I shower and put on something nice towear outside.It has been over three years since Heidi has had sex with me and on acertain level I miss it. I know it's just not in her realm ofpossibilities and it's something she flat out refuses to discuss. Infact, it is as if she doesn't account for any sexual desire I may havehad and now considers me sort of a neuter, if that makes sense at all. Tobe honest, with the regular d**gs I take, I have been more than neuteredbut there are still underlying masculine urges I have, although they arevery rare and only manifest themselves a few.
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