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But he didn'tdo that - he kissed me...Would it have mattered if I was fully who I was supposed to be? Onlyone way to find out... I looked at my phone and began typing. "Weshould talk. Meet in the lobby at 6. Wear comfortable shoes. There'sa park about a mile from here. Let's go for a walk and see what wethink about last night." I read it twice, removed 'We should talk' and'and see what we think about last night'. Read it again and pressedsend.Not twenty seconds later I had my reply. "Thank you. See you at 6 inthe lobby." I was nervous, but what did I have to lose? It's going tobe what it's going to be... I needed to not over think any of this, tonot anticipate how the conversation was going to go and twist and turnthose words into something they weren't. Good luck with that I thoughtabsently...I clicked out of iMessenger and pulled up Janet's phone number. I wasdreading this call, but pressed the button to make the call. On thethird ring she answered. "Elizabeth.... .. No, I have to... I’m just going to...” “Steve?” “Deb, I can’t do this.” “What?” I locked my eyes with hers. “At any second, my want to feel your skin on mine... huh... to smell you... to taste you, is going to get the better of me.” “Steve, come on. sit, just sit...” I tipped on my heels. I was clawing and scrambling at the edge of an expanding rabbit hole, knowing full well that the next few hours would change my life. “I have wanted you... I have loved you for the longest time. Now here you are, sitting in front of me, more beautiful than I have ever seen you, and I... I ...“ “Steve, I know.” Time played its games again, turning into a silky black rush. I remember pushing the well-worn brass push plate on the warm wood door as we left. Then, the click of my seatbelt, the revving of the engine, and the crunch of gravel as I pulled into her driveway. The door opened into the dim depths of her kitchen. Ahead of me, she turned. The hungry physical fire flickered and then went out,.
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