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They never knew my honestly too serious nature because I would not let them in. The wall I built around my heart was constructed to withstand any chance of heartbreak. Even though I wanted it to crumble on occasion, I could never allow it. I remained a coward who could never face rejection on any level. Gravity will invariably make the other stiletto crash at my feet.But, not with her, not anymore, I promised myself. She deserved better, I deserved better, we deserved better. And, unthinkingly, whispered words slipped out of my mouth, “I don’t have the words.”“Then don’t try to use them,” she murmured back, lovingly running her hand through my hair. Nestled together as a storm of turmoil blew across my face. For what was Hannah without a clever turn of phrase?I remembered back to that day we looked at art by Edward Hopper. Holding her hand, I felt like the realism of the painting was reflected in our then embryonic relationship. And I wanted to utter those three words to her, but. I agreed and welooked amazing, Valerie with her long blond hair and blue linen dress andme with my long black hair and red satin dress. No one could believe howgood I looked and how natural I acted as a young woman. Every year sincethan we had gone with a theme that had me in drag, last year we and twoother stylists from Val's salon were the cast of desperate housewives andI wore an incredible leather skirt that is still hanging in my closettoday. The year before that we were the Pussycat Dolls, we have dressedas The Spice Girls, Charlie's Angels, En Vogue, even as Victoria SecretModels. I must admit that I look forward to dressing up every year andthe week of Halloween is my favorite time. I always like spending timewith Valerie, but around Halloween it's really special, she owns a beautysalon in the city and does my hair (which I have kept long since my 18thbirthday) and make up, we try on outfits and hang out like sisters, it'sa really good time. I always get hit on by drunk men.
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